Surviving or Living?

I was watching the CNN special hosted by Soledad O'Brien, Black in America 2 the other night, and listened as a young man who was facing the difficulties of building a life after serving time in prison commented that with little money and few opportunities, he and his family were "surviving, and that's not living".

If you're reading this, you are at least surviving. Everything may not be as you desire it to be, but you are likely getting your basic needs met -- food, water, shelter, clothing. You may even be struggling to meet these needs, and still have access to the Internet, which more and more is becoming a "basic need" in our society.

But are you living?

I thought about Queen Esther, how she was willing to give her life in order to bring liberty to her people. It wasn't enough that the people were surviving; she wanted them to live.

Then I thought about Mary and Martha. While Martha took care of the household's survival needs -- cleaning, preparing food and providing hospitality--Mary concerned herself with sitting at the feet of Jesus, absorbing knowledge and wisdom, inspiration and anointing.

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." -- Luke 10:41-42

Although Martha's tasks were important and afforded Mary the opportunity to do what she did, Mary could still have bypassed the opportunity to know Jesus better. But, for Mary, survival wasn't enough.

One cannot live life to its fullest without first surviving each day. Yet, if one simply survives, what kind of life is it?

Jesus said, "I come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly". (John 9:10 KJV)

Too often this passage is interpreted to mean having the finer things in life, but I think it speaks to having an attitude about life as well. An attitude of joy and hopefulness, one that expects and seeks the best that life has to offer--happiness, peace, love, and so on.

Just having life wasn't enough for Jesus. The Lord wants us to experience the best of life--experience beauty, hear and appreciate music, explore and learn from our curiosities, etc. I'm not preaching material prosperity, per se, although knowing that God desires and has the best of everything prepared for His children is important. I'm simply asking whether you are living the life of which you dream.

Do you do the kind of work you want to do? Do you go the places you desire to go? Do you associate with the type of people you desire to know? Do you take advantage of opportunities to grow and to fill your mind and spirit with knowledge and new experiences?

If you're not, what's stopping you?

What needs to be true in order for you to move out of survival mode and begin living a full, rewarding life?

What changes need to happen in order to those things to be true?

What are you willing to do to effect such changes in your life?

These are questions to ask yourself, then...take action.

I've experienced both, operating in survival mode and living life to its fullest. Trust me, the latter is where most everyone wants to be. We each go through the seasons of life, sometimes finding ourselves in a season where perhaps survival is the best we can do. As such, you do what you have to do. You put one foot in front of the other, and keep moving forward, day after day, until you can see your way out of that season and into another better, richer one. And that's okay. But even now as I find myself in a bit of survival mode, I constantly remind myself that there's so much more that God has for me, and I plan to get it.

If you're content to simply survive, to never experience the richness of life, then I think you're truly missing out on all that God makes available to us. And that's sad.

At this moment, are you surviving or are you living?

Peace & Blessings,
Patricia

What Are You Afraid Of?

Fear.

It's something that every human being is faced with on some level at some point in time.

The thing is I believe we learn to be fearful.

Isn't that sad?

Because babies don't seem to know fear. In fact, I have a four-year-old who still hasn't figured out, after more than a few bumps on the head and trips to the emergency room, that he should be afraid.

He is truly a child who believes that if his mind can conceive it, then he can achieve it, to paraphrase a popular saying.

Scripture tells us there is good fear and bad fear.

Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so that it might go well with them and their children forever! -- Deut 5:29

That's the good fear, a reverence and honor for God.

But God cautions us, because He knows how damaging fear can be. He reminds us where fear comes from, and what He desires for us instead.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -- 1 Tim 2:7

Then, He tells us the one thing that can overcome fear. Love.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. -- 1 John 4:18

Have you asked yourself this question recently, "What am I afraid of?" It's a really good place to start if you never quite seem to get any closer than you are to realizing your dreams.

If you find that you have fears that are blocking and hindering you, seek love. Love for God. Love for yourself. Love for the talents and gifts God has planted in you. Love for the dreams He has given you. Love for the process, the journey necessary to get to your desired goal.

I just came across a very cool site launched to promote what looks like will be a very cool book, fear.less, "stories about conquering fear". Check it out here. The book is scheduled for release in July 2009.

Peace & Blessings,
Patricia

Neglecting Blog, Neglecting Me

I've been pretty neglectful over here. But that's because I've been neglecting me to a certain extent.

Exercising? Random and rare. Leg muscles still sore after Saturday's 45 min workout. Used to be a piece of cake.

Eating right? Not really. I'm very thankful I haven't put on a boatload of lbs, especially with those daily slices of chocolate cake I've been eating for the last week and a half. I'm still down 20 lbs on the year, and feeling good about that.

Anxious? A little. Lots going on and sometimes when this happens, I get a bit robotic. Doing all the things I'm required to do for everyone else, but not much for myself. Also, on the verge of a breakthrough in one area, and it's so hard to be patient...

Worshipping? Not enough. In fact, God is dealing with me over one of my favorite ways to relax...reading. Not so much what I'm reading but the reading itself. Anything can become a god. Have books become mine?

This happens periodically throughout the year. There's even some pattern, like the beginning or ending of the school year or the year-end holidays. Those are my three major pressure points, I think. I start to miss things, forget things, ignore things...

Time to step back, focus, and get rejuvenated. Think I'll start with that last one, the worship. In doing something about that one, I suspect God will answer the question about books and gods. Just hope it's not the answer I don't want to hear.

Peace & Blessings,
Patricia

Back from the Abyss

Last week was rough. Still working through some stuff and my middle son took ill. A case of food poisoning at school via a corn dog.

Took 6 days for this to pass through his system, three of which he didn't eat at all. We had to force him to drink so he wouldn't get dehydrated, and Friday night, when his temperature hovered in the 103.5 range, I was sure we were destined for a trip to the ER.

But a little God-enabled Motrin, and some mother/father love, prevailed. The fever broke and my baby awoke feeling a little better. After a quiet Saturday, he got up Sunday morning and began devouring everything in his path, it seemed.

Now Littlest One is not feeling so hot but I'm hoping it's more fatigue than the stomach bug, which the doctor assured us was indeed contagious.

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I've been listening to Pastor Bill Winston lately. I've always enjoyed his no-nonsense, straight to the point teaching style. He's been talking about faith. When he talked about the need to fuel our faith, it hit me that I haven't really been doing that. It's possible to live in a godly manner, attend services, listen to Christian music, read Christian books, fellowship with other Christians and talk faith but not really live it.

Because faith believes when evidence suggests impossibility.

Faith knows no boundaries or limits.

Faith doesn't argue against well-thought out analysis; it simply can't fathom the not side of things.

Faith doesn't fear spreading its wings or receiving blessings that appear unimaginable.

Faith doesn't seek to control or contain circumstances.

I realized that even as I've been acknowledging the glory of God and thanking God for recent blessings, because of circumstances, I've put my blinders on, reducing that which I desire or expect God to do to fall within my limited purview.

God forgive me.

I don't want to be bound by my lack of vision, lack of belief, or lack of faith.

My God "...is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us..."

For that which I desire from the Lord, which includes a deeper walk, I'd better start refueling my faith.

Peace & Blessings,
Patricia

In Need of A Heart Fix?

I was reading the current issue of Christian Women Online Magazine. One of the articles is entitled, "2009: The Year You Take The Weight Off". The article is about physical body weight but it speaks moreso to a different kind of weight. What I call "heart weight", referring to weight-loss struggles as a matter of the heart.

That's the second time this year I've heard that. On Oprah's Best Life show in which she discussed her weight loss struggles, her trainer, Bob Greene, used those exact words. "It's a matter of the heart."

Is it?

Is being overweight simply a matter of the heart, of things that weigh us down mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?

I'm not sure it's that simple, because there is absolutely a physical component relative to how the body responds to food intake and to energy expenditure, but I do believe it's worth consideration.

As one fellow blogger in the struggle quoted, the Bible tells us

"...we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

I definitely wrestle with losing weight. So what am I really wrestling with and what heart issues do I need to resolve through Jesus?

I'm not sure.

I know I eat when I'm bored.

When I'm stressed.

When I'm alone.

When I'm idle.

The best thing I've done this year is make a commitment to be deliberate about my writing. If I'm writing, I'm not eating. Better yet, if I'm writing away from the kitchen and the pantry, I don't even think about eating. That makes my evening, and thus, my daily calorie consumption plummet.

Nonetheless, the notion gives me pause. I've heard it before. Although Bob and Oprah tried to make this seem like new revelation for them, they pretty much said the same thing when they teamed up nearly fifteen years ago and put out that first diet book together, Make The Connection: Ten Steps to a Better Body and a Better Life. Even the title sounds like more of the same, right? I no longer have a copy but I recall that the book encouraged you to dig deep and find out what issues remained unresolved in your life.

Back then, in the mid-90's, I wasn't open to the idea that there was anything more going on with me other than consuming too much of the wrong foods and not getting enough exercise. I now know it's not quite that simple either.

If you're aware that you have issues that make you eat more than you should, by all means, deal with the issues. Go to God. Get help. Be healed and set free.

If, like me, you're not so sure, or the issues are buried deeper than first glance, take some time and think about it. Pray. Meditate. Journal. Ask God.

Then, be healed and set free.

I'm seeking freedom from the weight-loss struggle this year.

BTW, I maintained over the holidays and I'm down 3 lbs to start the year!

Peace & Blessings,
Patricia

Focus On What Matters

The cookies have all been baked--8 dozen--and eaten. 2 1/2 doz to one son's school. The rest? Hey, my family likes my cookies. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the fact that they enjoy my baking.

I had such a wonderful time in worship at yesterday morning's service. I'd been kind of down, more up and down, which might even be worse 'cuz folks around you don't know what they're going to get from day to day. In truth, this won't be a big Christmas for us. The finances are not there and may not be in time. We may not even have a Christmas tree, although I'm still holding out hope.

Oh, I know that these things shouldn't matter. And for me, they don't. Really. I've known "the reason for the season" for a very long time.

But for my boys, they matter a lot, and my boys matter a lot to me. Thus, my funk.

In worship, however, I put all of that foolish stuff out of my head and concentrated on the precious Lamb of God. And when I did, I felt such a release in my spirit.

So now, things still may not be exactly as I might want them for my children but they will have a merry Christmas, in ways that truly matter. We'll be together as a family, laughing and loving. We'll open the presents that required more thought than grabbing the latest, greatest toy off a store shelf. We'll gather together around the blessing of a wonderful meal cooked by me, with a little help from Oldest One, who's going to learn how to make peach cobbler. We'll remember that not everyone is as fortunate as we are, no matter what we perceive ourselves to be missing.

And we'll thank God for the greatest gift of all, His Son.

Now behold the Lamb,
The precious Lamb of God
Why You love me so,
I shall never know.
The precious Lamb of God.

Peace & Blessings,
Patricia

Weekly Check-in: October 20, 2008

Week of October 13, 2008:

Weight Loss: None.
Not sure. Didn't weigh myself this AM. Didn't want to know.

Average water per day: 2 cups. Notice
I'm trending down. Not good.

Number of exercise days: 3

Total min exercised: 90 min (avg of 30 min per day)

HELP!!!!

Still struggling with the October blues. I haven't exercised since the middle of last week. I did walk for about 5 hours this weekend, canvassing for Sen. Obama.

Thank God it's election season or I'd be a big blob on the couch!

I also just finished walking a couple of times around the perimeter of the parking lot with one of my co-workers. Now that the temps have dropped to a comfortable low 80s, we are resuming our daily walks.

If only exercise were the only problem...

Eating. As in, eating every thing in sight. That's my other problem.

So far, so good today. If I get through this evening without pigging out and I exercise tomorrow AM, those will be good first steps to getting back on track. Before the holidays kick in.

The real problem is that I just have not turned this whole weight loss thing over to God. I know I haven't or I wouldn't be still struggling with it, up and down, over and over, as I have been for the past 20 years.

Clearly I have some Israelite in me.

Perhaps I should start there...

Peace & Blessings,
Patricia

Choosing Not

I learned one of my biggest life lessons at a women's ministry conference some ten years or more ago.

It was about choices.

Now of course the concept of making choices wasn't anything new to me. But what the speaker enlightened me about was "choosing not to".

As in choosing not to get upset or angry when someone says something you don't like.

Choosing not to be offeneded when someone does something unkind to you.

Choosing not to feel slighted when someone leaves you out, inadvertently or on purpose.

Choosing not to fly into a rage in the heat of a disagreement. (Particularly useful for married couples.)

Choosing not to be vindicative or spiteful, not to retaliate in kind when you've been hurt.

Choosing Not.

The choice is yours.

This was eye-opening and life-changing for me. I was never one to hold grudges but after a disagreement, it might take me a while to cool off.

I'd never thought about having the ability to control my emotions simply by thinking in terms of making the positive choice of choosing not.

Not to be angry.

Not to be frustrated.

Not to be fearful.

Not to be cynical.

Not to be distrustful.

Not to be hurt.

Not to be offended.

Not.

The choice is mine.

This made a huge difference in my life. Initially, I had to talk myself through situations, and occasionally I still do. I found myself saying, "Maybe she meant to hurt my feelings but I choose not to be hurt." Then I took a deep breath, exhaled...

And I'm wasn't.

Do this enough times and it starts to become second nature.

Talk about powerful. It's one of the most freeing concepts I ever learned.

If you want to know more, you can get the tapes here.

Peace & Blessings,
Patricia

Do You Value You?

So we all KNOW what we need to do, in most cases to...

Lose weight.

Get promoted at work.

Write and publish that book.

Be healthier.

Argue less.

Pray more.

Demonstrate love.

Repair and renew broken relationships.

Get closer to God.

(Fill in the blank) ____________________________

So why don't we do whatever it is we need to do?

What is willpower?

What is discipline? Are they the same?

I've been thinking on this subject and God is whispering to me. As I get clarity, I'll share what I'm learning.

In the meantime, what about valuing yourself? Do you value you?

We say we do and we certainly want to believe we value ourselves but do our actions always support our belief?

Another subject I'd like to explore. For now, let's spend some time thinking about it.

Peace & Blessings,
Patricia